Tales By Chi

And we went to church. The twins cuddled to my hand and Chinaza strapping all the baby kits, we went to church together, the first after a long while now. We had loved going to church together when we first started our love story but had stopped when we saw how much of a barrier it was to some certain things we loved doing at the church. Like for example, Naza loved committing to God entirely whenever she was at the church, a thing so impossible if I was around to distract her with stupid talks. I loved to ogle at the girls around. Chinaza knew that and would never let me have a moment peep at any cute chic. To her, my attention should be at the altar at all times but I do get bored looking at something that hardly changes. The altar is always the same design and it's always the same priest and the same method of worship but the chics around? Mehn, they are always coming in different shapes and sizes and designs too.

But today, we went together. I needed to help Naza hold the babies. She had disagreed with every reason why she should just put them to sleep and come to the church. After all, it was a 2 hours affair and she would soon be home to them. We sat together, side by side, like couples. I didn't complain. Naza was cute so I was cool with it. Everything worked out just fine, Naza held Chinecherem while I held Chinaza. She spent more time trying not to make him remember he would be needing a suck of the breast so I was able to sneak a look at different girls at a time. Most of them had their eyes on us. We were one hell of a cinema, prolly the youngest couple in the church at that moment.

Like I said, everything went just fine until the door was opened to latecomers, that was before the sermon took place. A lot of them latecomers flooded into the church. Then my eyes locked with this very pretty girl. She flashed me a pretty smile and I flashed her one back. I turned to ensure Naza wasn't aware of the mild eye romance happening between us. I turned and met her, face to face, eyeball to eyeball. She wasn't smiling and her teeth dug into her natural pink lips.

"Are you still talking with Freda?" she asked me. I shook my head rigorously.
"Why were you staring at each other then?" she asked me again. I shrugged.
"Nothing. Our eyes just met besides I haven't even seen in over a hundred years and I told you I don't like her name."
"You don't like her name or you don't like her?"
"I don't know again, let's not start arguing about a girl right here in the church. Besides, you are far better looking than she is so you have no need to be jealous or complain," I said and turned to face the altar. I wasn't lying.
"I am better looking than all of those girls you are always running after," she said. I turned to her with a smile at the corner of my face. She had one on hers too.
"Don't brag," I whispered. She struck my laps.
"Face the altar," she commanded. I did just that, with one of my eyes though. The other was on Freda and she had all her attention on me.

Freda wasn't just a girl I wanted a mere fling with, I had loved her, like so genuinely and she had loved me back. I thought I could manage her with Naza but I soon came to realize that it was easier managing five estates than managing two magnificent beauties. Freda had wanted me and everything about me, she didn't want to leave any part of me for Naza. That was so impossible because Naza was the Queen. Freda could easily be likened to a princess. She was sweet in her own ways but she gave me no space to run my extra package. She spent more time in my house than she spent in hers and when Naza had come back from school to catch her in my room with her top off and her bra on the way to going off too, the devil had his laugh.

Naza was just herself then and there. She had tapped Freda on the laps and pointed at my door.
"Get out," she had said calmly but her eyes were brimstones. Freda had opened and closed her mouth, sharing quick glances between the door, Naza and I. I swallowed hard. Naza was obviously fidgeting for a fight and it sure wouldn't be a fight between them. Naza would beat her silly. Don't ask how I knew, I just know.
"Naza," I started but she held her finger to her lips, gesturing me to keep my mouth closed.
"Shut up!" she had snapped at me and turned to Freda. "I said get out!" she had yelled it this time around.

I got lucky, my door opened and Willie walked in. We made eye contact and he turned to Freda.
"Frey come," he had said to her. She didn't waste a breath. She had grabbed her top and ran to Willie and they bounced out of my room. Naza turned to me. I opened my mouth and closed them again and then opened them again.
"I was helping her stitch her top," I stammered. She had pushed me to the bed and walked out on me.

I sacrificed the bunch of flowers on our dining to win her back to me again and when it was over, only the flower vase was left. Freda did try to take me away from her but she hit a rock at it. I loved her though and she loved me too but she didn't want to share me and I didn't want to lose Naza. We were just 17 then and I was in my Ss3 class.

Now we were at the church and a bell inside of me kept ringing. The bell that always rang each time I was going to kick it off with a girl. Naza happens to hear that bell most times whenever we were together and when it was offering time, she made us change seat to a totally different section of the church. The married people section. Like I said, I can never eye a married woman and Naza knew that. 

My whatsapp dp, my Facebook dp, my twitter dp, my qq dp, my bbm dp, my Screensaver, my world was all a picture of those little cute things. Naza was always trying her best to keep me away but in the end, she will end up asking for me. We loved being around them and so did everybody. It wasn't much of a public something but few people did come. It was easy for me as I wasn't footing the bills. Naza looked sweet still but all stressed up. Either she was cuddling them to sleep or she was breast feeding them. It wasn't easy and she was always taking the stress out on me.

She would never take a minute break to tell me how unreliable I was. How much of a bad father I was going to be and she needed a better role model for our pumpkins, she didn't need me around them and bla bla bla. I was at a time getting pissed at the constant nagging even though I deserved them to an extent but then, Naza was decorating me with it. But then, whenever I look at those two magnificences she had produced for me, I was always calm with a smile on my face.

"And this is how you do it," she said and clipped the diaper. I just crossed my hands and watched. She just needed another argument otherwise, I didn't see any difference between what she just did and what I had done. The baby girl just lay on the bed in Chinaza's room giggling gibberish. Chinelo was at the corner, waiting to have a laugh of her life. Chinaza had insisted the babies had no name yet until she is able to sit down and think out a name them. For now, everybody can only call them baby boy and baby girl. Baby boy was already asleep on the bed.

"So what did I just do?" I asked calmly. She picked the baby and dropped her next to her brother.
"You clipped the diaper too hard. It will feel squeezy on her and will slow down the passage of blood," she explained slowly. I carved a smile out the corner of my mouth.
"Did she complain?" I asked slowly, moving back to avoid a slap that might spring up.

And we were done for the day. She rarely talks sense to me these days so it's either she is pummeling me with words or she was iterating how much the babies eyes looked like mine or how they had oval faces like mine, all against her wish.
"I hope they don't also grow up to be like you too," she would say and let out a loud hiss.

So I kept staring at the babies. They were real cute and comfy to hold. I had to wake the girl up again. I wanted to carry her to my fulfillment. Chinaza had gone to take her bath so it was all convenient for me. She let out a baby cry and I picked her from the bed into my arms. She stopped crying and I kept taking in the fresh baby scent from her body. I love the way new born babies smell. We were at our father and daughter business when Naza walked in, all wet with just a towel to cover her sexy body.

"Who woke her up?" she asked, accusing me with her eyes already.
"I was on my way out when she started crying," I defended.
"Then what happened?" she asked rhetorically and took her from me.
"I don't know, maybe the diaper was squeezy on her," I said with a mock smile. She rolled her eyes and dropped the baby on the bed. She cackled and we smiled, individually. They were our new bond, the kids and we loved them as much as we loved each other. Chinaza wouldn't admit it but I knew, we both wished we could just come to terms and tell each other how much happy we were together with two beautiful ones in between us.

"Naza can we talk?" I asked her. She sat on the bed, sharing her powder between her and the giggling baby.
"About what?"
"Us, you and me." I said, sitting on the bed and grabbing the baby's finger.
"Ok. Talk," she said in a voice portraying no emotion.
"You know my love for you is taller than this building?" I asked.
"Yes, I know but your fvck up is taller than our church tower," she replied. I ceased the urge to laugh, I wanted to be serious this time around.
"Yes. I am sorry for those things. I just love you and now that we have these babies, I want us to be closer like we used to be, even more closer than we used to be," I preached. She sat on the bed beside me.
"You want us to be closer, now that we have these babies? Do you want to have another one?" she asked, trying to act like she misunderstood me.
"Yes," I said and nodded with a grin.
"And who will now marry me after I must have given birth to 1 million children for you?"
"I am here, I am not going into the seminary," I said.
"Me, marry you?" she asked.
"Yes, was that not the plan before?"
"No, I have changed my mind. I won't even trust you with my daughter when she grows up."
"So you are now saying that I will be running after my own daughter?" I asked, getting angry all of a sudden.
"Who knows?" she replied nonchalantly and that was it. I vexed. Stood up and brushed my trouser.

"I am going," I said and started walking for the door, hoping she would call me back like she always did the other days. She did no such thing. I walked back to the bed. My daughter was sleeping already, peacefully and calmly. I bent low and pecked her cheek, she woke up, much to Chinaza's annoyance. She snapped at me and my boy woke up too. Good, if she was going to break my heart like that then she deserved a little punishment. She gave me her killer frown but I was too angry to care. She once told me that one of the reasons she loved me was because of my capacity to do absolutely stupid things, sleeping with her friend was not one of them though. I bade my goodbyes and headed for the door. She needed all the space she can get, her boobs were about to get busy.

And the days that followed were just like that. She was punishing me for what I did and I was even too ashamed to complain. So I bought her a flower. A very big bouquet and a teddy too. Though it cost me much more than I had expected. Never knew silly things like that cost much, that comes from having a girl like Chinaza that demands only for love and nothing else. It pained me paying that much, like a stuffed teddy going for 4k. I had argued with the dealer that I was buying a teddy bear and not a baby. I eventually got a red one. Red was the color of love and a red bouquet matched it. If she rejects it, I was going to give the teddy to the boy and the flowers to the girl. At least if I wasn't a good boyfriend, I would be a good father.

I was busy with the wrapping of the gifts in the confines of my room. Youtube was teaching me the job. Then Naza banged in. She rarely knocked. I hid the ribbon behind me, too clumsy that she noticed.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I bought things, for the babies," I stammered. "And you."
She came for them. Flipping them around recklessly. Like she couldn't give a shït, breaking my heart while at it.
"Which one is mine?" She asked.
"All of them, then decide the one you will dash out to the babes," I replied. She smiled. A lovely smile.
"Will you forgive me and accept me and my gift?" I asked.
"I am cursed with you," she replied and sat beside me.
"I love you very much," I confessed.
"I know, let's go and change baby diapers first."

From my house to her house. That was our new circle of life. None of those circles led us into a bed though. She was uptight about that part of our affair, again.

So I have really learnt a lot about taking care of babies, the only part I still have a problem with is breastfeeding them. I have never tried that though, I don't have big boobs like their mom. That's the only part Naza would never invite me to help her out with. We did every other thing together. From changing their diapers to singing them to sleep.

We finally gave them a name. It was on a bright sunny day and their 2 months birthday. Chinaza was feeling happy with herself and every other person else. Reason was she had a very nice sleep that night, at my expense though. I had dealt with the babies midnight cries while she slept away on her bed with an earplug to her ear.

"See how beautiful she is looking," she had chirped while adjusting baby girl's hair ribbon.
"So do we call her beautiful?" I asked.
"No, what kind of name is that?"
"Then pretty?" I asked again. She shook her head.
"Call them Bonnie and Clyde," Willie suggested.
"God forbid," we shouted in unison.
"Benedict and Scholastica," her mother suggested.
"Too churchy," I moaned.
"Call them John and Bull abeg. These foods and drinks are getting old," Willie complained, eyeing the food on the table.
"Fine, we will think about it," Naza said. Willie got up from the sopha and made for the steaming food and drinks.
"Let's eat first," he said. Naza moved the table farther from him.
"No, we will eat after we had thought out a name for the babies."

Everyone grumbled. Then we sat there, for over 15 minutes, searching for sexy names for our beautiful babies. Naza had allowed nobody else to suggest a name for them, she would do it herself. Apparently, it wasn't that easy. 2 months gone and she was still at it. We were so naive at that parenting of a thing and worse still, they came in twos.

"We will give you two 10 more minutes to say something or we will give them whatever names we like," My father said finally.
"Yes, 10 minutes," Willie supported, spinning a bottle of Heineken in his hands.
"Chinecherem, you name the girl and your wife will name the boy," my father finalized.

The time started ticking. We had our eyes on each other. Who would have thought that an ordinary task of naming babies could put one in so much a hot seat.

"Tick- tock" "Tick-tock" "Tick- tock" the time ticked and then 12 minutes gone, we had 2 minutes grace.
"So, are you ready?" he asked again. The ladies around were laughing out at our anxiety. We nodded.
"1 - 2 - 3 - Go!" Willie called.
"Chinaza," I snapped and Naza followed it up with "Chinecherem."
"Good, now we can eat, " Willie said and reached for the table. Everyone followed suit. I and Naza kept staring at each other, like we needed to verify if we had chosen the right names. Willie took a long drag of the green bottle and smirked his lips.

"Ehe, what did you say their names were again?" he asked.
"Star and lager," Chinaza answered with a hiss.