Tales By Chi

"So as I was saying, the two of us was high like the high priestess and Neche was looking all sexy..."  I smiled within me but I had a heavy frown on my face.
"He even wanted to take me to bed with my clothes on."
"Hahahaha, for real?" Shape asked, poking her head forward from the back seat. I made eye contact with Chinecherem through the rear view mirror and she smiled. I shook my head.
"I am telling you," Naza said.
"Naza stop naa," I pleaded.
"Please face the road," she said and continued.
"So I wouldn't want him to tear my beautiful clothes so I decided to pull them off. I opened the wardrobe and just then I saw something on the floor."
She stopped and waited for everyone to appreciate the climax. I was almost crying.
"What did you see?" Shape and Chinecherem asked in unison.
"I saw this very black extra large g-string. As in, the pant would go around your waist two times Chinaza," Naza said and the two girls broke off into a huge skyscraper laughter.

"That's not true. Shape is a bit heavier and thicker than Cynthia jare," I protested. Naza turned to me with a frown. She wanted to tell dirty tales, I was becoming interested in it.
"Her name is Cynthia?" shape asked. I nodded.
"The girl that came on Naza's birthday," I said and bit my lips, appreciating the horror on Naza's face.
"She came again?" she asked and I nodded slowly.
"What for?"
"She came to take her pant," I replied nonchalantly.
"I thought you said," she started and stopped with a broad smile and then faced her backseat audience again. "Did you know that Neche even said that the pant belonged to James?". Another streak of laughter. I couldn't help it. I smiled too, on imagining James on a pair of g-strings.

"So how is she?" Chinaza asked, facing me.
"How is who?"
"The g-string girl."
"Her name is Cynthia and she is fine. Shebi you invited her for that party," I said.
"She came?"
"No, her ghost came. Abeg change topic," I said.
"How is my baby?" Shape asked.
"Which one?" I asked.
"Williams baby naa, do I have any other babe?"
"He is fine."
"Its been long I last saw him, I am really missing him," she murmured.
"Shebi he was around on Monday for my birthday. E never even reach one week sef and you don dy miss am," I said.
"Ehe, one week is long enough for me to miss him. Abeg face your wife o."

I laughed and turned to Naza. I needed to taunt her a bit more.
"Naza how is that Range Rover guy?" I asked and that was how I bought market on my head.
"He is okay, he even called me today sef," she said.
"What for?" I asked.
"He wanted to meet me, maybe take me out but I don't want him to see me like this," she said rubbing her belly. "I want to look sexy enough when I meet him."
I swallowed hard and increased my foothold on the gas a little.
"Is it that cute one, the one showed me long ago?"  Shape asked excitedly. Naza nodded. I kept quiet, exchanging glances with Chinecherem.
"When is he coming, I can't wait to meet him again. As in, the guy is so cute and with his fluffy beard and deep voice and everything," Shape gushed. I coughed and rubbed the tiny hair sprawling out of my chin. I nearly wanted to cry. Those girls had deadly blows.

"When I deliver my baby boy, we may meet up again," Naza said and I interrupted.
"Baby girl," I said.
"Whatever but I heard he has bought the latest Range Rover. Is it 2014 model. Shebi that is the latest?" she asked. Nobody replied.
"Neche I am asking you, shey the latest model is 2014?"
"I don't know, why don't you ask him," I answered without even looking at her.
"Well, I will call him and ask him this night," she said.
"Oh my God. That his voice must be so sexy at night," Shape said. I got so jealous and fed up that I had to scream.

"Girls I am driving!!"
They kept mute for a while. They looked shocked.
"So?" Naza asked after a while.
"You are distracting me."
She peeked into my face.
"Are you jealous?" she asked and I shot a look at her and then faced the road again.
"Why would I be? If I get to his age and I don't have a beard and a Range, that's when you will start asking me that stupid question."
I was vexed and it was in my voice.
"Is like he is angry," shape whispered to Chinaza like I couldn't hear them.
"No, I think he is jealous," Chinaza replied like I wasn't there.
"Baby are you jealous? You know I was joking abi?" she asked, caressing the little hair on my chin. From the rear view mirror, I could see Chinecherem trying to stifle a laughter. Shape couldn't help it. I felt the urge to let out a smile but I withheld it. I was damn angry and maybe jealous.

I pulled into Ifite and drove through the potholes which left everyone in the car dancing. I wasn't good enough at avoiding them. I parked by our lodge gate and Shape got down with Chinecherem. Shape and Neche came to my side, my glass went down.
"Boo, take it easy on her o. You know she has a bad mouth and was only joking," she said and pecked me. I let out a weak smile. She walked over to Naza and Neche came to bid my her own goodbye. She rubbed my hand and smiled. I smiled back but that didn't mean I will be coming out to see her again in my life.

"You won't beg me to take it easy on him?" Naza said to shape. She was laughing away. "I will kill him o!"
They laughed it away. They bade us good night as we drove off. We weren't talking to each other.

A little distance out, I saw the silhouette of Cynthia as she stood by a gutter, getting toasted by one fresh guy like that. I stopped and honked at her. I bet she jumped above three feet when she saw me behind the wheels. I was just feeling myself anyhow. She came at my window and stopped short at kissing me when she saw Naza. We talked for long and she invited me to her birthday party loading the following week. I left her there, feeling good as I have equalized with Chinaza to an extent. I had done a little bit of dirty talking with Cynthia and even pecked her as I drove off.

I stopped before their gate around 8 pm.
"Are you coming tomorrow?" I ask her. She got down from the car without a word and banged my door shut. Good for her I thought. Imagine her taunting me with talks of a guy better than me wanting to hook her up the second time after ruining my supposed date with that silly Chinecherem. Which girl does that?

I sneaked into the house and everywhere was quiet. That was surprising. My father should have been on the TV. I called Amara and she came running down at me, all prepped for a fully equipped hug. I let her have it and she caressed me with every detail of her body. She was endowed like I would always say.

"Where are they?" I asked, biting her lips.
"They traveled to the village just this evening. They said someone died and that your food is in the kitchen, they will be sleeping over. "
I thanked her and walked up to my room, crashing on my bed with everything still on. I managed to pull off and pulled the sheets over my semi nude body. I closed my eyes and smiled. The coast was quite clear and tomorrow I am going to invite Chidimma over for another round of Fuckery. That was my plan until the lights went on. I thought if Amara was expecting to get laid this night, she's in for a long thing. I was going to tell her that until I opened my eyes and saw Naza standing by my switch on her very sexy nightie. I swallowed hard.

"Shift," she said and lay on the bed beside me. I obliged without a word. So with my face up and my hands supporting my head, I stared at the ceiling. I knew there was no sleep for me that night. I hated sleeping with the lights on and Chinaza liked it on while she slept, except we were going to fuck, only then would she agree to killing the lights but just how do you fuck a pregnant woman in the darkness.
She slept with her face to the other side of the wall while I stared at the ceiling, not wanting to complain. Approximately one hour later, she turned and placed her head on my chest and hugged me closer. I kissed her forehead and shut my eyes. My baby is going to have the best parents ever, I swear down!!!

It was so hard convincing Naza that the knicker Chidimma wore wasn't the one she bought for me and worse still that the one she gave me was back at school and so I can't bring it out as proof. Shaa she believed me not because she wanted to believe me but because my explanations were interrupting her movie. Amara iced the cake when she came home and asked if I helped her wash those uniforms, Chidimma had obviously tipped her off. Chinaza had no choice than to believe me.

Well the missed call was from my baby bear, Chinecherem. I called her back later in the night, after Naza was gone. I lashed her for almost ruining my day. She informed me that she was at my school.

"Which my school? Do I own a school?" I asked, totally confused.
"Baby, I'm at Unizik. I came to see you," she said and giggled.
"Hian, so where are you now that I am not around?" I asked assuming she was kidding.
"At a friend's house, will you come and see me?" she asked.
"Wait, who did you tell your people that you came to see?"
"Chinaza naa, are you coming?"
I evaluated my pocket and found out it could accommodate one more reckless spending, if only my mother would pay for the transportation. So we fixed a date for the next day. It was a Sunday and flexing was allowed and Chinecherem was just the perfect girl.

"Mummy see, I need to pick that thing up urgently and I don't think daddy will agree to give me transport money for me to go and come back," I explained to my mother after service the next day.
"And it's me that will give you my car to go and come back naa?"
"Mummy naa, shebi I will be coming back today," I said with a frown.
"What happened to the other small car?" she asked.
"Mum which car, the beetle?" I asked and she nodded. That was the old modeled beetle, the one we call ike mbe. Nobody has moved that car for close to 2 years since I used it for learning how to drive.
"Ah ah, mummy. That car? Road safety will just tow me and the car away if they jam me."
"You and your brother just want to finish that car for me. Today it's Willie, tomorrow it's you," she complained.
"Mummy this is my first time of touching that car, Willie has been the only one enjoying it naa."
"Okay, I will give you money for transport," she offered.
"No, I need car."
"Must it be car? I thought you said the reason you needed the car was because your father will not give you money for transport?" she asked.
"No, I just remembered the bag I am picking up. I can't carry it."

I won the argument. She let me have the car and I hugged her. I imagined myself speeding off all by myself with Chinecherem beside me, romancing my hands. Heck, I might even have a go at her in the car.

"Ermm, mummy money for fuel," I said slowly.
"Oya Chinecherem get out of here!" she chased me up. "Bia nwuru ara, come and suck breast naa!"
I laughed my way out of her presence. I knew her tank was never empty expect Willie had tampered with it but he was back at school. I just needed small money just in case. She later rogered me shaa without my asking for it. My mom was made like that.

Chinecherem was busy hotline blinging me while I was gearing up for that day's affair. I answered her once and ignored the rest. She said she was already waiting for me at one popular junction like that, so her incessant calls were understandable even though she can be a pest when she wants to. I got set by 1pm and after much prayers from my mum that I don't crash the car and myself and that daughters of Jezebel may not see me. I drove off by 1:30 pm, looking all nice and smart.

So driving through the streets and busy road of Awka wasn't that easy for me. I had become a little rusty. One was that I could count the number of times I had been in mom's car as the driver and the other was because that was about a year ago. So I was busy behind the wheels either getting cussed by my fellow drivers or I was cussing them. A lot of cussing did happen.

Sighting Chinecherem wasn't so hard. She was waiting at Unizik junction, opposite Crunches eatery. She was her usual curvy self and looking like one slay queen. A denim trouser torn on the knee, just fitting perfectly to her a little bowed leg and revealing her camel too in an appetizing way. Then her denim jacket, covering her white singlet with her cleavage grabbing some fresh air from the top. A sunshade and her shining weave was just on fleek. She was very beautiful and I was glad I didn't miss.

I pulled up beside her, almost knocking her into the gutter. I bet she was about to cuss the daylight out of me before my window went down and I stripped her naked with my eyes, covered by Willie's Versace sunshade. She smiled and became her jittery self.
"Baby," she squealed and came for my door. She kissed me through the open window. Her lipsticks were gone in that instant but she still looked good without them.

"How are you?" I bassed out at her. That was my big boy tone. She nodded a fine thank you and ran to the other side of the car. She got in and I made a turn for the eatery. We needed to start somewhere.

I made our orders over the counter. I didn't let her breathe a word ther cos if she did, she would just order the whole place and I don't think I have any reasonable explanation to give my mom for abandoning her car at an eatery because I couldn't fix the bills of  a daughter of Jezebel.

We took our fried rice and chicken to the table. I had a one chivita on the saucer too. We sat down and faced each other.
"Try not to finish that food before me, I am not buying another one, " I warned her. She giggled. My phone beeped. I checked and it was a whatsapp message from Naza.

"Baby, what is your mother doing at Crunches?" she asked. My countenance changed. It's either my mom was at Crunches too and Chinaza passing by saw her or the both of them were there at Crunches. Either way, I was fvcked.

"How did you know," I typed with the speed of light. She gave a space of 35 seconds before she replied.
"Her car is parked here."
"And what are you doing here?" I asked.
"I am here with Chinaza," she replied and then started typing immediately. I waited and her second message came in.
"What do you mean here? Chinecherem are you at Crunches?" she asked. I turned to Chinecherem and asked.
"Did you know that Naza and Shape were here?". She nodded.
"I came here with Shape and Naza joined us." she said and drank her cup of the juice, stuffing her mouth with a sizable size of the chicken. My palms itched from wanting to give her a resounding slap. Baby bear or not, that girl needed a good ass whooping and I mean the type you do with a leather belt and not the dick.
"And you didn't tell me?" I asked.
"I wanted to be with you first before that your girl will snatch you away," she replied casually. My phone beeped again.

"Chinecherem answer me now or I will find you myself."
That was Naza's message.

"You are silly, where are they?" I asked her without the tiniest bit of smile on my face. She pointed behind me and I turned. Chinaza had her red face on her phone while shape winked at me. She obviously knew I was there, a thing Chinaza was much oblivious of.

"I stood up and Chinecherem ran beside me being her restless self. We walked up to them and just before Chinaza raised her head, Shape yelled.
"Suprise!!!"

I smiled and she winked at me. She got me covered and here I was thinking she didn't love me. I bent low and pecked Naza.
"What is this? What are you doing here?" she asked, shooting looks between I and Neche.
"Wanted to Suprise you, shape invited me on whatsapp," I said and Shape nodded. Chinaza gave me a doubting look.
"You don't believe me?" I asked.
"Yes, you are lying. Shape's whatsapp expired yesterday," she said, crossing her hands over her chest.
"She Used Neche's phone," I said.
"Well, I don't trust you but I trust her," she said and pulled me down for a second peck. More seats and I sat down.
"Slay queen or not, I am not wasting those foods," Chinecherem said and ran back to our former table. I watched her upturn my plate into hers and grabbed the juice and headed for our new table. None of those things did she share with me.

Shape took charge of the orders, ordering fresh sets of food and juice. Even Chinecherem received a new plate. I had to protest.
"Is Willie here?" I asked and they shook their head.
"Did you guys come with any other guy?" I asked and heads shook again.
"Why do you ask?" Shape asked me.
"Who will pay for all these ones you are ordering or are they free?" I asked.
"Did you come with a cooler of food?" Naza asked me, I shook my head.
"Then what are we going to eat if we don't order or did you come for sight seeing?" She asked me. I heaved a sigh and relaxed to my fate. Thank God mom gave me that extra money.

I stood up from the table and started to walk away.
"Where to?" Naza asked.
"I want to buy beer, I need a bit of alcohol in my system."
"I will walk with you," she said and stood up. I sized her up and she was dazzling in her huge red gown. She looked just lovely so I let her follow me.

We walked to the car first and I emptied my mom's pigeon hole of all the money there. Then hand in hand we walked to the counter.
"Give me Heineken," I started to say and Chinaza interrupted me.
"Give him malt," she said. I gave her the opolo eye.
"For what kwanu?" I asked. She rubbed my back romantically and pecked me.
"If you get drunk now, who will drive us home?" she asked. I accepted the malt grudgingly and we walked back to our table to meet a packet of juice sitting beside each plate. Four packets of juice in total. I don't know between Shape and Chinecherem who made the order but whoever it was, I am going to find out and she will pay either today, tomorrow or in the future.

"Who is that fair guy?"
"I don't know."
"I wonder if he is going to kill the other fair guy."
"I don't know."
"I wasn't asking you."
"Ok."
"Is like he will kill him o."
"Maybe, I don't know."
She covers her eyes as sound of gunshots followed suit. The movie was American and everybody was fair. Everyone had a gun. Everyone was trying to kill everyone and Chidimma was still naked upstairs in my room.

"Has he killed him?"
"I don't know, open your eyes and see."
"Which one do you even know?"
"I know that you are frustrating me."
"Spell frustration."
"C - H - I - N - A - Z - A."
She laughed and nudged me on the rib.
"You don't even know how to spell my name."
"Eh? What did I spell?"
"I don't know but you misspelt it."
"C. H. I. N. A. Z. A., was that not what I spelt?" I asked and she kept quiet. She had taken over the ignoring game that I had started. That was a win for her.

"Naza, why don't we take your bags home so it will be easier for you when you eventually want to go," I suggested.
"No, I don't want to go home now. My mom will be looking at me somehow. In fact, I may even sleep here," she said and gauged my expression. I resisted the urge to scream.
"Why is your face like that?" she asked and I looked at her.
"Like how?"
"Like I am about to catch you with another girl?"
"Hian, biko, I don't know what you are talking about o. Is like they are going to shoot that fair guy again," I switched the topic and turned to the TV.
"I thought you didn't like the movie?"
"I didn't say that abeg. Chinaza let's watch film."

We watched for a few minutes and then I excused myself and ran upstairs to my room. Chidimma was still in the wardrobe, but she had my knicker and my polo top on. We smiled at each other as I opened the wardrobe.
"You look sexy," I said and she smiled a thank you. Indeed she looked sexy in that knicker. I would have left it for her if Naza hadn't bought them for me.
"We are stuck here," I said and scratched my head.
"Who is she?" she asked me.
"Who?"
"The girl."
"My sister," I said and she looked at me.
"Is that not Chinaza?" she asked.
"You know her and you are asking me."
"What is she doing here?"
"She came to pick beans. Abeg lets find you a way out of here," I said.
"Which way?"
"There is a back door at our dining room. You will follow it and get to the backyard but you will have to sneak out without making noise or she will catch you. Amara will get you your school uniform later."
She nodded and walked out of the wardrobe.
"When will I see you again?" she asked and held me.
"Let's get you out of this one first, then we will start talking about next time."
"Should I come tomorrow?" she asked.
"No, if I want you to come, I will tell you."
She hugged me and kissed me so deeply that I was forced to frisk her sexy body with my hands and almost took her to bed again.
"Come and be going," I said and she nodded. Pecking me, she was feverish with emotions. I was feverish with fears of being caught by Naza.
"But first, I have to distract her before you sneak out."

I went back to Naza and sat beside her.
"What were you doing upstairs?"
"I went to masturbate," I answered casually. She laughed. I walked to the door and bolted it. The devil in Naza might just decide to take her outside when Chidimma might be sneaking out.

I sat on the bed and eyed Chinaza as she focused on the movie, hiding her face each time guns were raised.
"Why can't you just buy a film you like?" I asked.
"Did I say I don't like it?" she asked.
"Then why are you covering your face?"
"It's just the shooting part that I don't like. The Romance parts are ok and that's why I bought it. Don't you like it?"
"I do. The Romance parts especially," I said sizing her up with my eyes and biting my lips.
"Shuku Shuku boy," she said and smiled.
"Are you calling me a fvck-boy?" I said and drew her closer. She actually let me and I plucked her lips.
"I love you," I murmured and kissed her in bits.
"Are you sure you are not up to something?" she asked amidst giggles and kisses.
"I'm up to love baby."
We kissed and missed many scenes on the movie. I didn't care, Chinaza had a succulent lips and I needed Chidimma out of that house. I slid my hands around her body and felt her breast. She undid her bra herself and let me rub the tip. She moaned and held the nape of my neck. I caressed the tip of her tits and my phone blared. We disengaged immediately and across the parlor, standing at the dinning was Chidimma, staring at us. My phone kept ringing.

"Hi," she said and waved. My face turned red and Chinaza kept burning us with her eyes.
"How far?" I asked.
"I'm fine. Is Amarachi around?" she asked. Smart girl.
"No, she's not yet back from school."
"Sorry, who are you?" Chinaza intruded.
"Chidimma, Amara's friend," she answered diligently and respectfully. A thing I wasn't expecting.
"Why did you have to come in through the back door?"
"The front door was locked," she answered. I heaved a sigh. I was glad the girl could defend herself. Chinaza kept looking at me, unsure of what to make of it all.
"Come back later in the evening. She will be back by then," I said. She nodded and ran out of the door.

"Are they not in the same school?" Chinaza asked after she was gone.
"I don't know, you could have asked her."
"Something is not right about her," she said, giving me the impression that she was in deep thoughts.
"Let me lock the door before someone else walks in," I said and rushed at the back door. I bolted it and came back to meet Chinaza giving me the deadliest looks I have ever seen.
"What?" I asked.
"Why is she wearing the kicker I bought for you?" she asked.

It was all a gang up! My birthday party was a fucking gang up!!!!


"She want a niggar with them gold slugs, gold slugs.
I'm grilling and and I'm fucking at the same time, grilling and fucking at the same time....... "
We were all singing along to the mega noise in my room. Chinaza's voice rose clearly above all others, she was drunk and so was everybody else.

I had gotten home and saw my bed leaning against the wall. I was afraid I was being thrown out of my room until I remembered Naza was around and only a crazy girl like her could do that shit. I compiled all the anger I was nursing against those invitation text messages she had sent to those girls and added it to the anger I had on seeing my expensive high rise mattress outside and I was going into the house to set her on fire but ended up running into her awaiting arms. She sang me the happy birthday song with backup from all the babes in my lodge and went on to sing, "You are 22 years today," bearing my ass to the world and in front of that final year chic I told I was clocking 26.

My room was like a party house, spacious and the smell of nice food was everywhere. I didn't even know what to say neither did I get to say what I know. The girls bombarded me with hugs and pecks with Naza taking the lead. In my kitchen was a cooler of well cooked fried rice and there was a bit of Chicken! In it. There was a CAKE too. I turned to my baby and fell in love like Daniel fell into the lions then. I lifted her off the ground and swirled her around. Damn she was heavy. I then checked my phone in case of any bank withdrawal alerts and made sure my atm card was intact before I lifted her up again. She had done all that with her money. I sure knew then and there that I had a 200 yards of wife material.

I checked my fridge and it was filled to the brim with Heineken. I needed no sooth sayer to tell me that it was Willies handwork. I fell on the bed and stared at Naza like kids would stare at a super hero.

"Happy birthday baby!" Shape yelled and came at me with all her bombardments. She fell on me with kisses and hugs.
"Sweetheart, did you see what my baby had done?" I asked excitedly.
"Yes o, I told you you are a lucky guy," shape replied.

Willie came back around 6 pm with another crate of Heineken and some of his guys. The music went on and my room became a swarm of party lovers. The food showed up first, hot and very tasty. Everyone asked for more. Then everyone got drunk and got tipsy. James started forming DJ with the remote. My home theater was a mad loud and the bass could melt the heart and harden the dick. I took over the dance floor first and did a little of my own thing. Naza came next and rocked the balls out of me. Then everyone joined us. The party was lit for me, the thing I had almost avoided was turning to something different for me. I was loving the whole thing until Chinaza's guests started arriving. I call them her guests because she invited them. Cynthia came in first around 8 pm. Then Eva came in, dragging in Mma and her room mate. Shape was coordinating the guests amidst constant distractions from a drunk Willie.

Eva came straight for me and hugged the gush out of me. I felt her body in 3d while Naza kept watching from a far end. She was somehow the centre of attraction as everyone imagined at her bulky stomach and what she was doing at a party like that. A chitty chatty shape kept telling them she was the celebrant wife.

James was busy rocking with every girl around to my envy. I couldn't join him in that since I had my baby around with her eyes hovering over me like an anointing. Mma kept smiling at me from afar. I had given her a secret kiss the moment she came in and excused myself.

"James abeg, hook up with that girl for me, distract her attention from me," I told him and he nodded eagerly.
"James, don't take it serious, she is my new girl and I love her."
"I don hear guy. Nothing go happen," he said and left to meet up with her. I was willing to play that game with Chinaza. I ran to Willie and made him hook his guys up with every single girl Chinaza had invited with my phone. That was how I won or I thought I did. Chinaza always has her way of outsmarting me.

The music was killed and everywhere went quiet. The next item on the list. Cutting the cake. I was surrounded by everyone, knife in hand and cake on the table.
"Make a wish dear," shape said and I closed my eyes and made my wish. I wished God would make Naza less troublesome and blew off the candle. I was going to cut the cake but Shape stopped me.
"You will cut the cake with your soulmate," she declared and Chinaza stepped forward. She stood beside me with her bulging stomach as I dropped my face to the floor. I felt like I had been put up before a firing squad.
"See, I wish you two a happy union, love, affection, a bouncing baby boy.... "
"I want a girl," I murmured.
"and may this beautiful union end up in a sweet marriage in the future," Shape yelled and a thunderous clap followed.
"Kiss the bride please," James yelled. I eyed him and he winked at me, dropping his hand on Mma's shoulder. I bit my lips and felt a heart attack. James my friend had sold me over a girl.
"It's a birthday party not a wedding party," I protested and shape shot me daggers with her eyes. I plucked up Naza's lips and we both shut our eyes as everyone clapped. They had won, her and shape. Every girl I had ever wanted will now know that I am not single, that I have a very beautiful and cute girlfriend who is pregnant for me too. I needed a rope, I thought.
"You see why you guys need a good girl in your life," shape yelled. "if it was a party organized by a guy alone, you will all drink and kill yaselfs. But this one, she even cooked food. Fried rice and Chicken!". Everyone yelled and clapped.

I drunk the hell out of myself after that saga.
"Take more," Naza kept urging me with more bottles of drink. "It's your birthday after all."
I suspected she was celebrating her victory as well. She had tactically warned off all my girls and she didn't even have to argue about it. All she had to do was set up a party. I loved her ingenuity.

It was all party, booze and Romance as we danced and twerked with guys knocking themselves the hell off. My birthday was lit, it was set on fire and thanks to my baby mama. I owe her the world.

"Do you hate me?" she asked while we were outside.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I invited your girlfriends without your permission?"
"I can't hate you, you are my everything," I declared, dancing the drunk man's dance.
"I am sorry for inviting them, I just wanted them to know the real you, that you will soon be a father and I want you to be a responsible one."

I watched her in the star lit darkness. She was so beautiful and I loved her again and again and again. You can keep repeating that again. I hugged her.
"I love you baby," I said and staggered a little. She slapped me a little hard.
"You didn't even deny that they were your girlfriends," she said and it struck me. Chinaza!

She was a kind of sweet poison but I loved her for that. My only problem with her was that she cooked up all my rice for the party.

Chinecherem had forgotten her Bible, true to her words and it was in my room. I didn't even know and Chinaza roasted me for it.
"I didn't see it because I wasn't looking for it. How would I know that Chinecherem even had a bible?"I protested, still wondering how the Bible got to be in my room. I had never opened a bible with her before. Chinecherem wasn't giving a reasonable explanation, she was all about the indomie and how nice it was to see us guys again. "Or are you trying to say that there is something else behind that Bible being in my room?" I asked trying to play the righteous one and shooting myself in the leg while at it.
"I am not saying anything o. It's just that I have never come into your room any day to see James cap or singlet or even pen that he had forgotten but it's either I see a girl's forgotten g-string or it's another girls Bible," Chinaza chirped out nonchalantly.

James faked a yawn and Willie let out his signature grin. Shape adjusted where she sat on the bed and only Chinecherem laughed.
"Pant kwa? Tell me about it," Shape asked, cupping her chin with her hand.
"Yes o, gist us," Willie supported. I waded in, that tape was too unsavory and I wouldn't like it to be played.
"We were talking about indomie before," I chipped in and shape hushed me.
"The indomie can wait, this upcoming story dy totori me well well," she said and kept staring at Naza. Naza shot me a look and saw how restless I was. She was my baby and she could read me.

"Don't worry, it's nothing actually. Neche go and make indomie. We are hungry," she finally said. Shape hissed. I didn't grumble about the indomie or complain about the number of people that were lined up to stuff their stomach at my expense. I just ran into the kitchen before Naza would entertain them with that unsexy tale of us and Cynthia's Pant.

The carton of indomie came down from top of the wardrobe and another problem surfaced. I had just enough pot to cook three packs of indomie, the bachelor's type of pot. I had 5 half adults with the guys among them having the average capacity to consume three packs and still ask for more.

"You should just cook in batches, cook three first for the ladies. They would eat together, then cook another three for me, then you can cook three for you and James."
That was Williams giving me suggestions. He got tongue lashed for it. Even shape chopped him up too. After running back and forth and everything, we adopted his plan.

We chatted while the noodles boiled and when the first three packs cooked, the ladies set on it, eating it like typical ladies. Willie excused himself and went outside. He came back in with a tin of sardine and three raw eggs.
"This is for my own, you guys can only look at it once, the second look will blind you," he declared and dumped it on the table. The girls whispered to each other and giggled. The next three packs of indomie soon cooked and was garnished all round with sumptuous eggs and sardines. Willie gently set it on the floor. He closed his eyes and said his one second prayer.
"Plus Jesus, Minus Satan," he said and the girls yelled out a loud amen, louder than his own and before he could dig his fork into the steaming noodles, the girls had already surrounded him on the floor and were rolling out noodles. The first things to go were the eggs, then the bits of fishes followed suit. I swear I have never seen Willie look so tearful, not even the look on his face the day my mother sold his brand new Playstation 2 to the junk collectors for 200 naira thinking it was my grandfather's old gramophone could compare to the look he had on his face at that moment. He had bought that game for 20,000 naira.

It was like the girls had raped the indomie and left it bare afterwards. He couldn't complain because his Shape was among the Raiders. Chinaza was there so I just kept mute but I swear I wasn't laughing, I felt the pain too. James however let it rain.

They left the food for him and went back to the bed. Only Chinecherem stayed back. She loved food.
"Naza, I thought you loved me?" Willie managed to ask shape.
"Of course I do, my problem with you is that you don't love me enough. You watched me eat my own indomie without even crayfish and you just sat there now you want to eat yours with egg and sardines," she replied and rolled her eyes.
"Add you had to bring your family along?" he asked, referring to Naza and Chinecherem.

While he was complaining, Chinecherem had managed to divide the rest of the food into three equal parts and had eaten up two of those three parts. He had to chase her away and manage the rest. Then when ours came down from the fire, he had to join us.

"Ehe baby, remember tomorrow is 19th," Chinaza told me. I had forgotten actually.
"What about 19th?" I asked.
"Your birthday naa, we need to make cake, cook food and dance and dance," she replied jiggling her body. Another wahala. Where will the money for that one come from? I asked myself.
"Wow, Neche tomorrow is your birthday?" Shape asked with a broader than broad smile. I bet she was imagining the party for it. I nodded and sucked in my indomie.
"Ada we will invite a lot of girls too," Willie added. Shape eyed him.
"What for?" she and Chinaza asked in unison.
"To help you make cake," he said and hissed. The girls hissed back.
"Look at their jealous faces, as if you don't know that it's girls that bring life to the party," he said and hissed again. If the party was going to hold and we were going to play music, we sure needed some chics to dance since naza obviously can't walk erect talk more of twerking to my taste.

"And we need food too, lots of fried rice," Chinecherem said.
"And drinks too," James added.
"Yea, and drinks," Willie backed him up.

Chinaza stood up and threw her hands in the air, stopped low and shook her backside a little. It was dope in a way. Then she yelled,
"Yay! It's my sweetheart's birthday tomorrow and We gon party, yeah, we gon have a party!" she twisted Chris Brown's "Party". Everybody joined her except me. The party was on my pocket as well.

And here I was thinking she is incapacitated in terms of twerking. You guys should come and have a look at what she is doing. Singing My baby sweet o. 

Chinaza was there at my door looking like she came for a fight. I wasn't expecting anything less since it took close to 1 hr and dozens of missed calls for me to get to her. You can't blame me, I had to intercept at least 5 girls on my way back. They were all old acquaintances so no new chic. Shape wasn't in and everywhere was as dry as harmattan air.

"You look beautiful," I started with my flattery, I needed her to smile. I was not in the mood to be lashed on.
"Where have you been?" she started slowly as was usual with her. If you don't know Naza and happen to Judge her with her tone, then you are in for something hotter than hell.
"Baby don't be angry, I forgot my bag at school," I said and she frisked me with her eyes, flapping her naturally long eyelashes in an enticing way.
"So where is the bag?"
"I didn't say I went back to bring it, did I?" my lie had hooked me in my throat. I had miscalculated. I didn't even have a school bag.
"So what took you long if you didn't go back for the bag?"
"Naza leave me alone, if you hadn't lost the key I gave you, you would have just come in and relaxed," I grumbled, she kept quiet to my surprise. I opened the door and we went in. I closed the curtains and hugged her, the pregnancy creating a little obstruction for me but it didn't stop me from kissing her. She returned the kisses.
"Hmm, this one you are allowing me to touch you anyhow?" I asked and she smiled weakly.
"I don't have strength for your arguments joor."
I led her to the bed and she sat on it. I got her a can of malt from the fridge. She took it without a thank you and got me to open it for her.

"Are you hungry?" I asked and she nodded.
"Do I cook indomie for you?"
"Anything is ok," she murmured and fell back on the bed. I switched on the TV for her and ran into my little kitchen. Something within me was signaling me that Naza was going to reject that indomie and ask for something else, maybe Pizza. So I opened one packet of indomie and dipped it into the boiling water. Sprayed the seasoning on it and covered the pot. A bachelor's way of cooking noodles.

I fell back into the room and into her arms. We watched the tv silently while rubbing each others hands. It was soothing in a way and I realized how much I had missed her.

15 minutes later, the smell of burning noodles in the kitchen jilted us.
"Chinecherem, the indomie is burning," Naza called, slapping me up from her laps. I jumped up and jumped my way into the kitchen. The indomie had burned but not that much.
"Baby it's only browned, there's not much burning on it," I told her.
"I know, put that one in a plate for yourself and cook another one for me. It's not good for the baby to be eating burned food."

I hissed and did as commanded. I had no choice. A new packet of indomie and a new burning of gas, life with Naza is sweet but hardly easy. I was just out of the kitchen when Shape walked into my room, making noise with Chinaza and bouncing her boobs and booty all over the place. They did their girly greetings, sweetheart and sweet names flying all over the place, one would have thought they were a bunch of lesbians. Then shape asked.
"Hey, something nice is smelling. Neche what are you cooking?"
"I am boiling water. She wants to take her bath," I answered.
"Hmm, this water that smells like Indomie."
"Don't mind him, he burnt the first one and he is cooking another one," Naza intercepted.
"Hey, baby how many are you cooking, I hope it will be enough for all of us?" Shape asked, cuddling close to me, all jittery.
"It's just one o."
"Make it two naa, eh sweetheart," she said, giving me one of those seductive look and smile.
"Make it three," Willie called from outside, coming into the room with Shape's handbag. Shape rolled her eyes at him and faced me again. I and Naza just stared wide eyed at Willie. Neither of us knew that shape had been with him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked my brother.
"What is she doing here?" he asked me, pointing at Chinaza.
"I came to see my baby daddy," Naza replied.
"Ehe, me I came to see my baby mama," Willie said and we all laughed.
"So what are you making two?" Willie asked.
"So you didn't even know and you were asking for three?" Chinaza asked. I was becoming quiet. With the way things were turning out, the afternoon lunch was going to be on my account. I simply lacked the appetite to talk.
"Tell me naa, maybe I will even add my own," he said.
"Baby, we are cooking Indomie," shape said and eyed me. I kept wondering where she got that we from.
"Okay, then make it five, three for me," Willie finally declared and then from nowhere, James came in with his books yelling make it seven. At this point, it took the man in me to stop me from crying. I merely sniffed. Everyone laughed because they thought it was funny. I was in this mood when I heard a familiar sexy voice at my door say "Make it 8,". We all turned to the door and Chinecherem was there, looking like Miss Unizik, fresh, succulent and all.
We all shot her daggers with our various eyes but I think shape shot her fire.

"I forgot my Bible," she protested and before she was done explaining why she came back, the second packet of Indomie burned. 

The cool wind blew and the Church bell chimed 10pm.
"See, there has to be something you are willing to sacrifice everything for even yourself," Williams said and drew a line on the floor with his hand.
"That would be my family. Dad, Mom, Joseph, Maria, August, you bro. Even you." Jaycee replied and stared into the starry sky. August sniffed and Oscar glanced around the graveyard.
"I'm trying to make you understand something," Williams said.
"The type of something that would make you give up your family like that, your blood?"
"I needed to avenge her, she meant to me what nobody will ever mean. She gave me this kind of happiness that lasted only with her existence in my life."

Jaycee smiled and stared across to his brother, looking him in the face.
"Do you think she would have done same thing for you, if you had been the one killed?" he asked and Williams nodded with a smile.
"Everything is over now. Glad the three of us came out of it unscathed. Maybe we should pick up whatever that's left and move on. I love you guys and I swear that's the whole truth."
Jaycee shook his head and August stared on in silence.
"Unscathed? We are all fucking scathed by the betrayal, we can never forget in a long time. You are demented man, you really are."
"We should move on. I wouldn't want to see you guys hurt anymore. St Mathews is the most beastly of places."
"Yes, we should move up until you fall in love with another vulnerable girl who will get killed and then you sell us out again to avenge her. We shouldn't be talking to you," he said and got up from the grave where he sat. August followed suit.

"I'm always around, looking out for you guys. Just call on me if you need me," he said and stood up.
"Williams?" August called him for the first time. He turned to him.
"Did you kill Moms and Pops?" he asked. Jaycee turned and faced Williams. He had forgotten to ask that question.
"See, there are things we do in life that we have little control over and... "
"You killed them then,"  August interrupted. Williams didn't reply.
"They were our blood, Joseph and Maria. I thought in St Mathews that was all that mattered. I would give the world just to have them smile at me. I thought we lived to protect each other, I thought that was what made us family. I thought blood was supposed to matter above all else, isn't that so? Isn't it?" he yelled and he voice spread into the night.
"We do the silliest things for love little bro, I doubt if you understand that yet," he replied.
"No, I understand perfectly well. I had a family I placed above all else and when the time came, I came back here, to this shithole for a duty I owe to them. A girl I loved, I shot up her folks for my family. I would have killed her too. But you, you chose a girl over your family and you say you love us."
"I do bro, I love you guys but shit happens and I"m sorry for it all, not that I regret. She meant the world to me," he said and stared at him, doubting his capacity to understand that.

"There was no justification and you don't deserve to live. Jaycee would let you walk out alive, maybe he has some good memory of you in the past, maybe that's why. I was little and I remember nothing of worth about you except that you murmured my family. I have no problem shooting you!"

He had pulled out his gun before his speech could assimilate. He raised it and shot him twice, point blank. Williams fell slowly, the shock reflecting on his face. He fell face down. August walked closer to him and proceeded to empty the clip on his back, not stopping until the gun went empty. He turned to Jaycee with a glint in his eyes.

"I feel better," he said and shoved the gun back into his hips.
"Come here," Jaycee commanded him and he walked into his open hands. They shared a hug that lasted a few seconds.
"I thought nobody was going to do that," he murmured. "The fool deserved something worse than a bullet in the head but that was good for starters. He should now rot in hell."

They walked out of the graveyard together barely making a sound. In the distance, at the entrance to the church, they saw the silhouette of a girl, her hair flying with the wind. August knew it was Janet. She stood there, her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. They walked close to her and he stood before her, staring her in the face. She said nothing, she just stood there, looking at him. Then he spoke first.

"Did you bring the police?" he asked and she shook her head.
"I just came to see you, I thought I would find you here."
"I'm not sorry for what I did but I do care for you if it will matter to you," he said.
"I know and I understand. My father shot your brother and you hated him for that. Just like I am so mad at you now for killing him and my mother too. I understand the bitterness better now and I still love you," she said and fell into his arms, letting out loud sobs. He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes.
"I love you too Janet and I am sorry I had to hurt you like that," he said and felt her deep her right hand into her pocket again still clinging onto him with the left. He felt the nozzle too late to pull out.
"I love you so much and I am sorry, they were my everything," she cried and pulled the trigger. He felt the hot bullets pierce his intestines before the deafening sound of gunshot. He opened his eyes wide and fell back slowly. She shot him again and again before Jaycee cut her short with a bullet to the side. Oscar took his own shot and caught her in the thigh before Jaycee finished her off with a shot to the chest. She fell with a thud and closed her eyes slowly.

"August!" Jaycee yelled and ran to his brother on the floor. He didn't get to make any last minute conversations. He died before he had even gotten to the ground. He fell on him and gave out a blood curling scream, his voice rising into the silent, Cold night. Oscar knelt beside him and put his hand round his shoulder, fighting back his own tears. He felt like he had practically raised August to what he grew to be. His own heart ached and he wished her would rise like Jaycee had risen. Jaycee shook heavily, scooping his brother from the ground into his arms. He watched the finely carved face bereft of innocence. He came to notice how much their features matched. He buried his face in his motionless chest and sobbed again. In a swift turn, he picked his gun from the ground and stuck it to his head, pulling the trigger.

The hammer clicked and the gun made no sound. Oscar snatched the gun and grabbed him.
"Fucking pull yourself together man. Only cowards take that path. Think of Nancy and what will happen if she hears you're dead."
He snatched himself from his hand and knelt beside his brother's body. The mention of Nancy had gotten to him.
"He was just a boy, he was my kid brother," he said and cried. "What do I have now?" he asked.
"You have me and you have Nancy who loves you. Don't just die up on her. She's already given everything to see you live. So fucking live and don't let the Donati name die," he said and sat on the ground beside him. They sat there for what seemed an eternity. Jaycee sniffed and stood up.

"We should get his body out of here and give him a proper burial," he said and lifted him off the ground. They walked out of the church premises to the car outside.

The church bell chimed 12 am.


The End.