It was all a gang up! My birthday party was a fucking gang up!!!!
"She want a niggar with them gold slugs, gold slugs.
I'm grilling and and I'm fucking at the same time, grilling and fucking at the same time....... "
We were all singing along to the mega noise in my room. Chinaza's voice rose clearly above all others, she was drunk and so was everybody else.
I had gotten home and saw my bed leaning against the wall. I was afraid I was being thrown out of my room until I remembered Naza was around and only a crazy girl like her could do that shit. I compiled all the anger I was nursing against those invitation text messages she had sent to those girls and added it to the anger I had on seeing my expensive high rise mattress outside and I was going into the house to set her on fire but ended up running into her awaiting arms. She sang me the happy birthday song with backup from all the babes in my lodge and went on to sing, "You are 22 years today," bearing my ass to the world and in front of that final year chic I told I was clocking 26.
My room was like a party house, spacious and the smell of nice food was everywhere. I didn't even know what to say neither did I get to say what I know. The girls bombarded me with hugs and pecks with Naza taking the lead. In my kitchen was a cooler of well cooked fried rice and there was a bit of Chicken! In it. There was a CAKE too. I turned to my baby and fell in love like Daniel fell into the lions then. I lifted her off the ground and swirled her around. Damn she was heavy. I then checked my phone in case of any bank withdrawal alerts and made sure my atm card was intact before I lifted her up again. She had done all that with her money. I sure knew then and there that I had a 200 yards of wife material.
I checked my fridge and it was filled to the brim with Heineken. I needed no sooth sayer to tell me that it was Willies handwork. I fell on the bed and stared at Naza like kids would stare at a super hero.
"Happy birthday baby!" Shape yelled and came at me with all her bombardments. She fell on me with kisses and hugs.
"Sweetheart, did you see what my baby had done?" I asked excitedly.
"Yes o, I told you you are a lucky guy," shape replied.
Willie came back around 6 pm with another crate of Heineken and some of his guys. The music went on and my room became a swarm of party lovers. The food showed up first, hot and very tasty. Everyone asked for more. Then everyone got drunk and got tipsy. James started forming DJ with the remote. My home theater was a mad loud and the bass could melt the heart and harden the dick. I took over the dance floor first and did a little of my own thing. Naza came next and rocked the balls out of me. Then everyone joined us. The party was lit for me, the thing I had almost avoided was turning to something different for me. I was loving the whole thing until Chinaza's guests started arriving. I call them her guests because she invited them. Cynthia came in first around 8 pm. Then Eva came in, dragging in Mma and her room mate. Shape was coordinating the guests amidst constant distractions from a drunk Willie.
Eva came straight for me and hugged the gush out of me. I felt her body in 3d while Naza kept watching from a far end. She was somehow the centre of attraction as everyone imagined at her bulky stomach and what she was doing at a party like that. A chitty chatty shape kept telling them she was the celebrant wife.
James was busy rocking with every girl around to my envy. I couldn't join him in that since I had my baby around with her eyes hovering over me like an anointing. Mma kept smiling at me from afar. I had given her a secret kiss the moment she came in and excused myself.
"James abeg, hook up with that girl for me, distract her attention from me," I told him and he nodded eagerly.
"James, don't take it serious, she is my new girl and I love her."
"I don hear guy. Nothing go happen," he said and left to meet up with her. I was willing to play that game with Chinaza. I ran to Willie and made him hook his guys up with every single girl Chinaza had invited with my phone. That was how I won or I thought I did. Chinaza always has her way of outsmarting me.
The music was killed and everywhere went quiet. The next item on the list. Cutting the cake. I was surrounded by everyone, knife in hand and cake on the table.
"Make a wish dear," shape said and I closed my eyes and made my wish. I wished God would make Naza less troublesome and blew off the candle. I was going to cut the cake but Shape stopped me.
"You will cut the cake with your soulmate," she declared and Chinaza stepped forward. She stood beside me with her bulging stomach as I dropped my face to the floor. I felt like I had been put up before a firing squad.
"See, I wish you two a happy union, love, affection, a bouncing baby boy.... "
"I want a girl," I murmured.
"and may this beautiful union end up in a sweet marriage in the future," Shape yelled and a thunderous clap followed.
"Kiss the bride please," James yelled. I eyed him and he winked at me, dropping his hand on Mma's shoulder. I bit my lips and felt a heart attack. James my friend had sold me over a girl.
"It's a birthday party not a wedding party," I protested and shape shot me daggers with her eyes. I plucked up Naza's lips and we both shut our eyes as everyone clapped. They had won, her and shape. Every girl I had ever wanted will now know that I am not single, that I have a very beautiful and cute girlfriend who is pregnant for me too. I needed a rope, I thought.
"You see why you guys need a good girl in your life," shape yelled. "if it was a party organized by a guy alone, you will all drink and kill yaselfs. But this one, she even cooked food. Fried rice and Chicken!". Everyone yelled and clapped.
I drunk the hell out of myself after that saga.
"Take more," Naza kept urging me with more bottles of drink. "It's your birthday after all."
I suspected she was celebrating her victory as well. She had tactically warned off all my girls and she didn't even have to argue about it. All she had to do was set up a party. I loved her ingenuity.
It was all party, booze and Romance as we danced and twerked with guys knocking themselves the hell off. My birthday was lit, it was set on fire and thanks to my baby mama. I owe her the world.
"Do you hate me?" she asked while we were outside.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I invited your girlfriends without your permission?"
"I can't hate you, you are my everything," I declared, dancing the drunk man's dance.
"I am sorry for inviting them, I just wanted them to know the real you, that you will soon be a father and I want you to be a responsible one."
I watched her in the star lit darkness. She was so beautiful and I loved her again and again and again. You can keep repeating that again. I hugged her.
"I love you baby," I said and staggered a little. She slapped me a little hard.
"You didn't even deny that they were your girlfriends," she said and it struck me. Chinaza!
She was a kind of sweet poison but I loved her for that. My only problem with her was that she cooked up all my rice for the party.
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