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Clara tapped on the play button in her IPhone 6 music interface and the soft melodious mambo came on, filling the entire air with Roma...

Tuesday 19 September 2017

Diary Of A Broke Playboy 78

Diary of a broke playboy short story

Click HERE for all episodes of Diary of a Broke Playboy

Bros came around. He is my mother's little brother's son. He is like 2 years older than Willie. That was a rough guess. Jidenna is his name but we out of respect addressed him as Bros Jide. Small talks going around had it that he thought Willie how to be a clown and a ladies guy. He too was a clown of his own.

As the stories went, it was in our little village that Willie was tutored. Back when Bros was sent to take care of my mother's mother, our grandmother. He took care of himself and the Chics instead. Then Willie went on holidays to the Village. He came back all baptized and became a new being in the game.

He told me tales about it. How Bros will tell him to change his playboy orientation. He told him how he needs to let those cheap girls be. There was no fun in running after them, they always had a "Yes" ready for your advances so there was no challenge in it and there was less fun.

"You have to make a deep chase mehn. When you do that and then she finally falls, bro girls like that who take time to fall when they eventually fall, they fall head over heels and then you have their remote control, their proper mumu button."
That was how Bros Jide always preaches. He would often say,

"If I wanted a cheap girl and cheap sex I would go to the brothel. It's not expensive and the girls are cleaner."
That was how he Godfathered Willie in the affairs of the skirts. So he was around the house and everywhere was as hot as can be.

He had a bit of cash and it was just us alone. I feasted long enough on his benevolence, always buying a thing or two for my baby and our babies and telling her they were exclusively paid for by me. We spent 15 minutes of each day in chemist shops either pricing condoms or postinor 2 and always came home singing and all drunk. He would notice the way his sister, Amarachi would stare at me and the way I replied the look, then he would ask.

"Come, are the two of you drinking from the forbidden stream?"
I would shake my head and ask him why I would want to drink from that waters with my own blood. "I don't know about you shaa but I would have not only drank from that stream but bathed in it with Ujunwa your sister if she was my agemate," he would say and we would stagger into my room to plan out for the next day, flushing used condoms into the toilet.

I wasn't up to 35% sure I was going to make heaven but if I had another brother very close to me and he was Bros. I would be 100% sure of going straight to hell. Even then, the ladies down there wouldn't be free from our torments, the fire notwithstanding.

We would turn and toss on my bed discussing into the night about nothing but the ladies. He kept teaching me new things I needed to know, like how to deny a girl that might take in for me in the later future. That guy was savage. He wasn't exactly sure as he says but he was guessing he might have fathered a couple of kids somewhere.

Willie came home a couple of days later and a playboy gang was formed in our house. For a while, a very long while, I seemed to forget about my twins and my very fine girlfriend. It wasn't my fault, just that Naza insisted on refusing me things as little as a French kiss and little sensational hugs here and there. I had bros and I had Willie and we had a lot of other girls to keep us busy. Girls who thought I was sexy and fun to be with. Little things that Naza would never agree to or would agree to once in a blue sun. She loves me no doubt but I am a guy and I loved hearing that once in a while.

The day came that the playboy inc of my family's chapter took a day out. Each to his chic. I hooked Freda up. It had been a while and I needed a break from all those times I kept awake to baby cries. I have been gone for a long while from them and their mother wasn't complaining neither were they. Freda had turned into a proper slay queen but she still felt a thing or two for me and I still loved the shape of her body. We formed the perfect couple while bros and Willie hooked two random girls I had never met before. They were cute like they loved their girls to be and they ate us up like smoked fish. Starting from the joint.

Bros was smiling all through. He had a couple of cash with him so we were good. The girls loved booze and that was what the guys loved. Drunk girls were bae except that Freda refused to get drunk. She was trying her best to reawaken what I thought was dead in her and me. The feelings that we had back then, when she could never go to bed without hearing my voice. Back when Willie would address her as my wife right before her and call her my third wife with her back turned. Yes, that feeling was great back then but I have no clue about now. In as much as Naza was being conservative with what she gave to me, I still loved her and would never want to hurt her that much.

"So you are a father now," she stated more than ask. I nodded slowly as the girl with Bros tried effortlessly to gain my attention with her eyes. The table was getting loaded with more drinks and Willie was busy ensuring that it was Heineken through out. He had high taste and it would be a pity if he ended up poor in life.

"Are you now going to marry her?" she asked.

"Marry who?" I asked without looking at her.
"The mother of your children," she said avoiding calling her name. She hated Naza to an extent. An understandable thing.

"Why are you asking me that now?" I asked, stuffing my bottle into my mouth and winking at Bros's girl.

"I want to know, girls who give birth before marriage have their market value cut in half."

"What about girls who abort?" I asked.

"I don't know."

Giggles passed around the boys and the girls sipped their drinks uneasily.

"Remember when you were eager to get pregnant for me?" I asked, trying to cover up the uneasiness that had enveloped our group.

"Remember what you promised me?" she asked.

"Yes, I said I will marry you."

"Where you lying then?" she asked.

"Joking," I muttered, sipping my bottle.

"What?" she asked in a snap.

"Lying and Joking, they are two different words with very different meanings."

"I hate you," she said and I smiled at her.

"I love you," I grinned.
"I love you too baby," she said and giggled. Bros got the table filled up with meat and we partied into the evening. 

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